I have a lot of heart-felt admiration for the women who have survived so much in life.
Through my work today as a speaker, mentor and coach I support those on mission to get fired up about who they are and what they do. Though this work, I have the joy of connecting with smart, professional, ambitious women from all walks of life.
Over the years, I have noticed I am often drawn to how stoic and regal these women carry themselves. Once we get to know one another a little better, there is a beautiful revealing point when I discover there is often a lot of pain behind their elegant façade.
From health issues such as breast cancer, to relationship issues like divorce or domestic violence. From financial issues from loss of job or bankruptcy to loss of children or loved ones; we all have something or “some messy situation” we have survived.
We can learn so much from Robin Roberts, Television Broadcaster and anchor of ABC’s Good Morning America, who when diagnosed with breast cancer started to lean on her mother’s words “Make your mess your message!”
This phase has always resonated with me (even before I knew it came from Robin Roberts) – because it is so easy for us to wallow in our own story and keep replaying it over and over and over again. I know I am guilty of this. What about you?
“Make your mess you message” is a good reminder that we are bigger than our story. As painful as our story is, we have to use it as a vehicle to move from survivor to conqueror.
The insight is not to “ignore” the pain we are going through (or have been through) but instead to “acknowledge” what has happened and use the experience to serve and support others who may be on a similar path.
So, for all the Real Women in Atlanta, around Atlanta and beyond Atlanta, I simply offer you words of encouragement in your journey to become your whole self. Here are some thoughts that may help as you embrace your transformation from survivor to conqueror…
1. Set a goal that is more than simply getting through your day. Set a desire to conquer each and every moment.
2. Do more than just enough to keep your head above water; swim in the waters of life with all the energy you have towards the shore of your destiny.
3. Let your long-term dreams be clearly placed in the forefront of your thoughts. Set out daily to make progress toward your goals, driven by your passion. Passion is the key that unlocks the door to your dreams.
4. Prepare yourself in advance for challenges. Have a plan of action in the event of an emergency. In the face of a difficult situation, know your plan to survive. Armed with a plan and a will to fulfill your vision, you can endure any storm.
5. Have the strength within you to complete your daily tasks. Be equipped to handle all that comes your way with absolute grace and poise.
6. In order to be a conqueror, change your perspective. Refrain from complaining about what’s not quite right. Instead, choose to be grateful for the ability to get through it. The mundane routine of everyday is an investment in your future, rather than a burden.
7. Having a positive attitude and a new perspective will help you live a life of joy. A heart filled with gratitude and joy is what makes the difference between living in survival mode and being a conqueror.
Today, I invite you to choose. You can either stay where you are or you can choose to get past being a survivor and become a conqueror.
Whatever you decide, embrace an appreciative perspective and allow passion to be your strength as you move forward in life.
As your journey unfolds…consider answering the following self-reflection questions:
1. What changes can I make to my perspective in order to appreciate my life?
2. How can I shift out of survival mode?
3. What drives my passion?
Kafi London is an expert who specializes in improving leadership morale and engagement. As a global speaker, mentor and podcast host she helps female leaders get fired up about who they are and what they do.
Kafi is the founder of the global brand, Smart Women on Fire offering in-person and virtual experiences to help female leaders thrive personally and professionally.
She is also the author of the forthcoming book, Fired Up! How leaders turn up turned on
If you would like help taking the first step to shift your current situation from where you are to where you want to be…connect with Kafi:
• Website: smartwomenonfire.com
• LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/kafilondon/
• Podcast: smartwomenonfire.com/podcast